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Infidelity violates our basic assumptions of a relationship or marriage.

Most of us would say that we believe cheating on our partners is wrong. Yet despite our fear and judgment, for all kinds of reasons, infidelity happens!

I have had the privilege of working with couples as they recover from infidelity, so I know that couples can come through the storm— some even emerge stronger than ever. But what about prevention? While there certainly are many reasons to practice sexual monogamy, doing so requires effort.

Couples who are able to talk with each other about their sexual needs and desires are the ones who are most satisfied with their sexual relationships. Talk openly together: Why you are choosing to be sexually monogamous? What does each of you need in order to feel good about that choice?

What does the relationship needs in order to thrive? Making this explicit rather than assumed goes a long ways toward preventing infidelity. Even if you feel content in your intimate relationship, chances are good that you will find yourself feeling attracted to other people.

Compare these scenarios:.

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My point is that, for better or for worse, your friends can affect how you feel in your intimate relationship. What was going on for the couple in the days, weeks, and months leading up to the infidelity? This process occurs NOT in order to blame the person who was cheated on, but in order to highlight ways in which the relationship was vulnerable. If you or your partner feel disengaged, working with a couples therapist can be a great way to reconnect and reduce the risk of betrayal.

Relationships are complex and mysterious journeys. Effort and care are required…always.

Did alexander hamilton have a love affair with john laurens?

In love, there are no guarantees. But these tips can go a long ways toward stacking the deck in your favor.

Alexandra H. All Rights Reserved. Website by Colleen Keith De. How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage.

December 14, Other articles you might like. Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Relationship Uncertainty ».

How to affair-proof your marriage

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